From the Large type book - Large print edition.
Fifty things that aren't my fault
Why there's a lifeless body in dressing room number two
In loving memory of the legs l used to hate
The day I outgrew all my shoes
I would wash my hands of this if only I could
Caregiver standoff at the ice cream parlor
At least I didn't eat a donut
The build-a-boob workshop
Nobody wants to hear about your nice clean closet
Diary of a bubble wrap scrap
This is your brain on sweet potato chips
Don't tell a woman to just wear jeans
The day I washed my face with bath soap
The itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny torture chamber
The day I divorced my purse
Stop trying to upgrade your mother
What kind of friend has no Wi-Fi in the powder room?
In defense of my 2,000th trip to the mall
My meaningless midlife six-minute fling
Four kindergarten moms and a bottle of Pinot Grigio
Joyfully preparing for the celebration of death
The last champions of photo album guilt
Mother's Day text message
Novocaine in the waiting room
Never, ever do what I say
Meditations on a sweat sock
Superman versus the meatloaf
My cup would runneth over except it was full of M&M's and now they're all gone.
