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Faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up to What's the Number for 911 with more real-life calls to the country's emergency operators. What's the Number for 911 Again' answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. "Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house" "Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree" Amazing and hilarious!
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In this far-ranging collection of aphorisms, adages, and verse, well-known humorist Harry Wayne Addison comments wisely and wittily on a wide variety of topics, from the lessons and joys of a rural upbringing to the heavy-handed whims of big government.
Acclaimed as the Will Rogers of Ouachita Parish, Addison offers here a wealth of wisdom and insight into the problems and pleasures that marked the daily path of twentieth-century man.
Inspirational,...
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USA Today Bestseller
From the wildly popular Instagram account, Disappointing Affirmations hilariously counters the culture of relentless toxic positivity with a realistic take on a disappointing world where failure is always an option, but that's okay.
Pairing lovely vacation photos taken by the author himself with sayings that are amusingly self-critical, encouraging, disillusioned, or all three at once, Tarnowski points to feelings commonly...
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Now available from Grove Press, P. J. O'Rourke's classic, bestselling guided tour of the world's most desolate, dangerous, and desperate places. "Tired of making bad jokes" and believing that "the world outside seemed a much worse joke than anything I could conjure," P. J. O'Rourke traversed the globe on a fun-finding mission, investigating the way of life in the most desperate places on the planet, including Warsaw, Managua, and Belfast. The result...
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"Perfect summertime reading-preferably with a friend nearby who can be constantly interrupted with unsettling facts." -Daily Mail (UK )
Benjamin Franklin was a pioneering scientist, leader of the Enlightenment, and a founding father of the United States. But perhaps less well known is that he was also the first person to use mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on an electric-shock victim. Odder still, it was actually mouth-to-beak resuscitation on a hen...
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To really bond with our much-loved dogs, we need to understand what they're trying to tell us
From the position of their ears to the wag of their tails, dogs are skilled communicators and they're eager to let us know how they feel. While we mostly rely on words to express ourselves, dogs mainly talk to us, and each other, through a series of facial expressions, body language, and doggie behavior.
This beautifully illustrated book of canine communication...
7) Who Is She
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People around her, however, don't want that to happen. They just want to upset her because they like to compare. They don't know that they're killing her emotionally when they're comparing like that. She hates being compared, and she hates it when they keep doing that. They keep telling her that she is no good. What is her response? Her response is silence.
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Because I Was a Failure"I've failed you. I know I couldn't make you proud, mom and dad. I failed that goddamn exam. It's my fault. Because I didn't try hard enough. I'm sorry. I made everyone disappointed. I made my Gods (father & mother) cry. The tear from your eye, it's telling me that I've let you down. I'm sorry. There is nothing I can say instead of 'sorry.' "I'm truly sorry for being a terrible kid. I know I am not perfect. I ain't doing any...
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Curious, cute, and seriously quirky, cats are a conundrum wrapped in fur. Do you want to learn more about your feline friends?
Often a confusing mixture of affectionate and aloof, spending much of the day snoozing yet being right there where a can of food is opened, cats are the definition of unknowable-or are they? Some things you may not have known about your cat:
• Cats have a reputation as discerning eaters but they actually have very few...
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A humorous retelling for a different generation.Who is Phil Osafa?What do The Dissentry of Magic do?How do you persuade your (drinking, gambling, thieving) weenix to behave like a respectable owl?What is ditchwitch? And why can't girls play?How do you tame the tiny, ugly, vicious - yet strangely desirable - guardian on the third floor?The answers are waiting inside this clever little file of fluid locations...Barry's uncles, Vermont and Patrice, are...
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Have you ever been at work, and someone did something that pissed you off? Like being in a meeting and it's always that one person who thinks they are smarter than everyone, but they really aren't, annoying the heck out of everyone with their irrelevant questions? Or what about the person who uses the bathroom but does not wash their hands after they are done! They want to shake everybody's hands, but they didn't care enough to run those hands through...
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Three comedy novels about the world's worst life coach. Cuthbert Huntsman is a bankrupt barfly with eight broken marriages who thinks he's wiser than Jordan Peterson and Deepak Chopra combined, but clearly isn't. How Not To Live Your Life chronicles Cuthbert's search for the rules of failure. Cop Lives Probably Matter sees Cuthbert embroiled in a ludicrous crime caper crammed with heists, hitmen, and murder. Trigger Warning puts the life of a disgraced...
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Fear!!! Scary, right? But what if the only thing we shouldn't fear is fear itself?
In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We're afraid of the world and afraid of each other-but not nearly as afraid as we should be! And this absurdly hilarious survival guide demonstrates that being afraid of literally everything is the only guaranteed...
14) Tenderloin
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Can killing be an act of love? Hypnotic, gruesome, and exultant, Joy Sorman's macabre ballet whirls from industrial slaughterhouses to the boutique butcher shops of Paris.
Pim is a delicate youth-stringy, solemn, and prone to bouts of unexplained weeping. When he enrolls in trade school as an apprentice butcher, his mentors have low expectations, but his lanky body conceals a peculiar flame: a passionate devotion to animals. In an industry that strives...
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A compendium of funny feline facts and strange stories even more entertaining than a stuffed mouse on a stick!
The relationship between cats and us lower animals cannot be summed up in mere words, but leave it to Uncle John to try anyway. Curl up with the Cat Lover's Companion, and you'll explore the unique, amusing, and mysterious side of the common housecat (Felis domesticus).
Read about the origins of your favorite breeds, meet some kitty movie...
16) Splitsville
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Jem and Nai may be twins, but as two halves of a split soul, they are as different as night and day. After losing their lives in a boating accident, the teens are recruited by Order to replace the recently departed Guardian of Blackbird. Their job? To protect and save the souls of the lost before they fall to the Discordant. A simple task under ordinary circumstances, but the town of Blackbird is far from ordinary.It would be bad enough if their arrival...
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El Súper Mega Gran Libro Gordo de los ChistesMás gordo que el libro Gordo de Petete, más Súper que el Mercarrona y más Mega que el Chirincirco del Pedredrol. El Súper Mega Gran Libro Gordo de los Chistes recopila cerca de cinco mil chistes de todos los tiempos para aquellos que desean partirse la caja, el ojete, el culo o el esternón a base de risas. Risas garantizadas, si no te ríes te devolvemos el dinero en tu próxima vida. Palabrita del...
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A witty collection that celebrates the strength to find humor even in the most challenging circumstances-with proceeds benefiting veterans.
Britain's armed forces have a legendary sense of humor, dating back over generations of servicemen and women. The Laughing Soldier, aiding the veterans' charity Project 65, is a collection of jokes, along with messages of support for the troops, sent in by people all over the world. Contributors include serving...
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When the going gets tough, the tough eat ice cream. They also keep their sense of humor because laughter is the best medicine in a world gone mad. In this, his seventh book, nationally syndicated humorist Jerry Zezima writes about family foibles and the funny little things of everyday life. It's the kind of stuff that millions of people can relate to. And it's a welcome respite from all the bad things going on these days. So sit back with "The Good...
20) Be Kind, Rewind
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May and Xan are stranded in the city of Not-Tuhnt without the Audacity, and May can't let it go, but when Xan and Aimz succumb to the Carmnian Scourge, an inhibition-eating brain fungus, May has a new problem to fixate on.
May must seek the help of old friends, enemies, Xan's horrible aunt, and a haunted Big Mouth Billy Bass to invent a cure before Xan and Aimz go feral and someone breaks open the Universe-ending Piñata.
Fun, fast-paced, and surprisingly...
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